The Case for Similes

Since I don't want to clog the newly co-blogged Thinkin', I'll post the rebuttal examples to my initial anti-simile post right hurr:

1. "I can make that pussy whistle like the Andy Griffith theme song." - Drake, Best I Ever Had

Straight-up one of the best lines of braggadocio in rap history. Nothing says sexual talent like pleasuring a woman so exquisitely that her vagina begins to mimic a classic television theme song. And he does all of this despite not wearing a shirt with stripes, too!

2. "She rockin' that shit like." - The-Dream, Rockin' that Shit

The-Dream's concept of love and beauty is so grand and mysterious that the entire concept of comparing it to anything else at all eludes him. Oh The-Dream, you sentimental slut, you.

3. "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it." - Beyonce, All the Single Ladies

Beyonce brazenly displays her fetish in her hit single with glorious feminine bravado: if you bear resemblance to her hand, then perhaps you ought to marry her.