2102: rear in ya view

2012 was mostly about vaginas, but it was also about butts. It was also mostly, even more mostly yet, about "buts." As in: this was the best year of my life BUT was it also the worst? That's a big but, as Pee Wee would say. I'mma try to answer it.

First off, this is the freshest I've been while writing this. That said, I'm coming off a 3 hour nap on an ostentatiously embroidered couch. But that's still an upwards spike, not a downwards spiral. So I've got the energy. Let's do it.

I forgot the format I usually do this in.

Oh yeah.

The Year in Me!

The highest highs and lowest lows yet. Last year was stagnation, and I accurately predicted that 2012 would be crazy as fuck. I didn't even know how much, though. Like, crazy high highs and crazy low lows. Unparalleled elation and devestation. On too many occasions, I just lay down on my floor and didn't move for two hours. Most of the time, it was because my futon bed was on the floor and I was sleeping after being in Osaka doing the craziest stuff I've probably ever done. But a couple times, it was because of DEPRESSSIIOOOOONNNNNNNNN! It's pretty emblematic though, I guess, that seemingly identical actions could carry such polarly oppsitized meanings. Pretty easy to mistake the good for the bad. I still haven't quite figured it out. One thing to know though: there was basically nothing that happened in the middle of the road, except maybe later in the year.

Friendship was pretty stable, and any big losses were in my control, thankfuckinggodforthat. One friend that I was worried about losing last year... I lost about 99% of her. But, knowing her pretty well, it was her decision and I think it'll be the best for her. I still worry, but yeah. Her decision. Cut off contact with some haters who were insistent on hating. I hated a bit. Still am. Met the three worst people in the world, hopefully will never see them again. On the other hand, met at least ten of the very best, so I ain't nearly complaining none. Got way closer to people I felt drifty from last year, and some people I've never really talked with before I would easily claim to be "besties" now.

Romance was possibly the rollercoasterest it's been since middle school. Fell in love. Nothing happened of it. That happened again. Nothing happened. That happened AGAIN. Baaaaaaaad stuff happened. I'll get to that later. Hold up. Some time in between all that, I fell in like with two girls who were, and still are, fucking awesome. Nothing but anti-regrets there. Had my first one night stand. A very... interesting night. Basically, a lot of sex in the first half and a lot of unrequited lust in the second. The funniest thing, perhaps that will ever happen to me in my life, happened. I will never tell another soul. Strange, strange year!

Family was also really up and really down. I've grown to appreciate everybody a lot more, and even tell this shit to their motherfucking FACES yo. Aw look at me hiding behind profane humor when I'm expressing sentimentality. Final grandpa died, prompting what will go down in my diary (this) as the Worst Week Ever. I feel like my extended family has been getting exponentially drunker. They have become my creative muse. One day, I will tell them.

The Year in Lit!

Ulysses was my good luck token. Got a job through it. Love that job. Got an A through it. That grade's okay. Hopefully, I will also get a mentor through it. Most importantly, though, I merely GOT THROUGH IT. Helluva fucking book, but I'll save most of my words for my official, publishable criticism of it. Thought I would pick up a lot of Japanese literature, because of yknow Japan and stuff, but all that whiffed on by (except for some choice mangas and folk stories for class, which ended up being pretty cool. Uzimaki!). Short stories won my fucking heart over like woah. I can't barely read anything else now. They're just that much better than novels. Paley, Kafka, Munro, Chekov, Marias, list goes motherfucking on. I haven't read too much outside of class because all of my class reading was so damn pleasureful anyway. Biggest out-of-class book was FINALLY finishing The Big Payback, which was a hella damn interesting book, definitely the most astute hip hop history thingy I've ever read. Still trying to read more contemporary fiction. I finally understand postmodernism! So I've got the theory down a little, at least, now I just have to do the reading.

And now, because I write again, a year in personal lit! Got published! Three different journals, three different stories (one of them twice). Internet writing club was probably the best decision of the latter half-year, in a half-year laden with bad decisions. My best works still go unpublished, and with Duotrope totally dicking out they might stay this way for a while, but whatever. More time to make 'em impeccable.

The Year in Movies!

I mostly came through on my resolution to get back into this shit, though mostly after the fact. One of the only movies I saw in theaters was Magic Mike, which I saw twice, once alone and once on a date with a lesbian. Best. Date. And. Introspective. Evening. Ever. Also I really enjoyed it, but no one has yet taken that opinion seriously for obvious reasons. Slept through Lincoln. If I saw anything else in theaters, it was probably underwhelming because I can't remember it for shit. Oh yeah. Ted. Yep.

Most of my movie watching was catching up, though. I got through some of last year's list: Tinker Tailor was awesome, Drive was awesome, and Poetry was beautiful and awesome. Outrage was hella badass. The Loneliest Planet had me screaming "OHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT" in my bed at three in the morning, completely alone in my house and rewinding my netflix over and over again. Black Dynamite defined the entire first half of my year. In the Mood for Love was beautiful and moving, but lacked a certain something else. Mostly, I think I saw it too close in time to my favorite movie of the year, Taiwanese masterpiece Yi Yi. Holy. God damn. BALLS. THAT MOVIE WAS SO DAMN GOOD. Seriously cannot speak highly enough of it. It's like five awesome movies all rolled into one terrific tour de force. If Edward Yang were still alive, I would definitely blow him, like a lot. STILL have to catch up on a lot, though: Martha Marcy May Marlene and Take Shelter loom over me from last year, while Zero Dark Thirty, Holy Motors, Moonrise Kingdom, I Wish, Amour, The Master, and Cabin in the Woods will likely be marathonned some time next year.

The Year in Kanye!

The most underwhelming Kanye year yet, unfortunately. He saves it a bit at the very end with a baby Kardashian with his fatherly features on the way, but his outsized ego just wasn't so visible all year. GOOD Summer also wasn't, on the whole, very good. I got addicted to Clique and Mercy for a little bit of time, like any good American, but that was about it. Might consider changing this column to be TWO CHAIIIINNZZZ-centric for next year.

The Year in Music!

This could not be more all over the place. I've kept very careful track of my musical obsessions this year, so I can say pretty concretely what new stuff I've been most impressed with: Frank and Kendrick of course, Laurel Halo, Daughn Gibson, Japandroids, Dirty Projectors, Burial, The Shins, Andy Stott, Daniel Rossen in and out of Grizzly Bear, Jens, the Mountain Goats, Passion Pit, Nas, and Action Bronson headline a big fucking banner year for music. Song of the year has shifted and changed all over the place, from "House that Heaven Built" to "Sweet Life" or "Pyramids" or even "Fertilizer" damn I can't pick a single song off this album so how about just "Constant Conversations" or "Ashtray Wasp" maybe? All told, the song I enjoyed the most might have been "Borrowed Time" by Parquet Courts, or "Adorn" by Miguel. Last-second love is definitely "I Belong in Your Arms" by Chairlift and the glorious return of Mystikal with "Hit Me" (thanks, Pitchfork. those motherfuckers got a lot of shit right this year). Laurel Halo wins best new artist. Not much more to say here than go and listen to Quarantine. I'm gonna do it too.

Best new trend is easily hip hop culture shedding its homophobia and queerness going mainstream. Big Freedia, Le1f, plus of course Frank Ocean. I'm sheddin' tears of joy here.

Personal music: My 500 Mountain Goats scrobbles in two months speak pretty clearly about 2012 pt 2. My 0 anything scrobbles speak pretty clearly about pt 1. I adore K-Pop and despise most of J-Pop, except that one song that I heard while bowling which was jazzy and terrific but I never learned it's damn name because of Japanese. Didn't hit my yearly goal by a looooooong shot, but I'm not sweating it. I've given it another year. My tastes are pretty firmly the same, outside of the relapse into NothingButMountainGoats for a while I've been listening largely to R&B and electronic stuff. Kept pretty on top of new music, but since I didn't have a lot of time to listen around, mostly avoided going back into the catalog. A Quiet Storm was probably my biggest discovery in that regard.

The Year in Television!

Wow I love pop culture. FINALLY watched Parks and Rec. It's absolutely hilarious just about all the time. Andy and Ron are my new role models (sorry Marlo). Louie had another banner season, ever so slightly weaker than the last two perhaps, but "Daddy's Girlfriend Pt 2," "Miami," and the "Late Show" trilogy once again beat just about anything else aired on television in terms of quality. Homeland hustled and bustled for its first half, but lost my interest by the second. Game of Thrones homerunned that shit. I also watch Breaking Bad now, and like any sane person love it and cannot wait for the finale. ADVENTURE TIME! Got hooked, really quick, then proceeded to hook 40 more people even quickerly. Bowties are still cool.

Still have to watch Mad Men. And Regular Show. Fuck?

Oh man it's time for the dreaded Month-by-Month

Time to rack my memory. I'll try to avoid doing it quarterly again, because the wildness in general made for some pretty specific spikes and dips.

January: Had the best New Year's in recent memory. Did my rounds across the neighborhood before departing across the sea. Hong Kong was the right Kong, but the wrong food choice. Hong Kong hospitals are nice and quick and inexpensive, though. Entered Japan. I did not know what I was in for.
February: Adjusted. Quickly. Karaoke. Black Dynamite. Made friends of all sorts of nationalities. Discovered the magic of Kyoto with some people I did not see nearly enough of afterwards; crushed hard, then got crushed, but at least that only took a single day. Learned how to ride a bike. Fell into a deep love affair with said bike, who I named Tom Hanks. I miss you, Tom :( :( :(
March: There is a document saved on my computer entitled "March 2012," the contents of which are a 128-size Times New Roman bold "LOL" and nothing else. Basically, an easy contender for the most nervous and scattershot and upsetting month of my life. Fell prey to two simultaneous heavy, heavy infatuations. Blame it on Hiroshima's oysters. I acted on one of them in the ballsiest thing I've ever done, got rejected, and ended up dodging a big bullet there. The other one... nothing much I can say other than To Be Continued?? (lol not likely at all but W SLASH E) Bad news on the family front complicates everything but sits on the backburner. Recovery starts towards the end of the month with adventures in Korea. Got kidnapped by a child predator in da club. Glanced at three of the most beautiful women in my life, resolved to live in Busan forever. Pizza school.
April: CEE-LO, Istanbul, great times in awesome parks with fantastic people, general goodness all around. Sextuple dates, some time spent looking in mirrors thinking about how much of my life is a hilarious joke. A good way to rebound from a terribly bittersweet month is with an unadulteratedly great one...
May: ...only to be topped by what will reign for many years, likely, as the Best Month. Great girlfriend, greater friends, greatest food, the quickest blossoming best friendship I've ever wanted to painfully hold onto, long bike rides at night, white beaches and green forests, margarita pizzas and the rules of cricket, neverending nights, neverending sushi dinners, the faint thud of penis-slamming through the walls at night, and a general aura of happiness made for the biggest bang that I could have possibly gone out on. I do hope that I get to return someday soon. Kyoto, Osaka, je t'aime, aishite :D
June: A whole week writing a huge, embarrassing, permanent reflection post on a completely separate, much more visible blog. Welp! Detox from the restless, fantastic hours of May. Stay in Boston on a whim and a prayer. Get job like it's the easiest thing in the world to do during a recession. 21st birthday.
July: Working, playing, steadily infatuating. Loving 2/3rds of it. I finish my first and second short stories, have that "hmmmmmm I should probably stick with this" moment. Rekindle old internet friendships.
August: Detox still goin'. The rest of the house gradually moves back in. Shit about senior year starts to get real. Start a hilarious, really fun summer fling. Lots of catch-up with the other ex-abroad folks.
September: A strange, strange semester starts unassumingly. Working, studying, writing, switching up classes a bunch. End the summer fling because obvi the summer's over, ya fool.
October: Strangeness happens quite suddenly and sharply with the Worst Week. at least, in retrospect, the compounded shittiness of this week was shitty enough to win me free concert tickets in a How Shitty Was Your Year contest in December. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Redemption starts late in the month with a transformative Mountain Goats concert.
November: Dealing with the fallout from last month. Fall behind in schoolwork that I just was so good at staying on top of before that week. Despair, dilly-dallying, and vaginas. But it wasn't all bad. The proudest moment of my entire life, but not for myself. Every second spent alone was spent listening the the Mountain Goats and doing nothing else at all.
December: Scramble and recoup enough to pull damn good grades, presumably from out of my ass. Wrote a love letter to my professor, still waiting to send it. Plans for a Japan semi-reunion fall the fuck apart, still hella bittersweet about it.

The sweetness comes in from the aforementioned hilarious contest about a shitty year. I guess that's an accurate summation and microcosm for the year in general: I had some terrible times and great times, some earned times and some missed opportunities, fulfilled some dreams and built some foundations, but even with the terrible moments, a wealth of goodness has almost always come out of it in the end. (I'm still working on that one last wealth...) So I say FUCK YALL to the haters who may hate because no matter the odds and sods that landmined my path, 2012 was a beacon of remarkableness in what was sure to be one of the Top 10 Most Memorable Years of My Life, if I ever live long enough to make such an absurd list. Cheers!

PS: Damn I forgot about celebrity deaths. I kinda stopped following them. There's plenty of articles out there about such a frivolous thing, anyway. So I'll just shout out the biggest one, to me, at least. Dear MCA, you were a tremendous rapper, philanthropist, and patron of the goddamn arts. You also looked like my dad. I will miss your talents. I know you're up there in Nirvana right now with all the other Bodhishattvas. You earned it, buddy.